I know it won't end up a sticky like the HOTDthread but lets hearem, I'll start with a lame one.

One version of hell.....

One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in
despair, he has his first meeting with the devil.

Satan: "Why so glum?"
Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!"

Satan: "Hell is not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here.
You a drinking man?"
Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."

Satan: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we
do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, Tab, and Fresca.
We drink 'til we throw up, and then we drink some more. And you don't
have to worry about getting a hangover, because you're dead anyway."

Guy: "Gee, that sounds great!"

Satan: "You a smoker?"
Guy: "Two packs a day."

Satan: "All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest
cigars from all over the world, and smoke our lungs out. If you get
cancer, no biggie, you're already dead, remember?"

Guy: "Wow. . that's awesome!"


Satan: "I bet you like to gamble."
Guy: "Why, yes, as a matter of fact I do."

Satan: "Good, 'cause Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps,
blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt, it
doesn't matter, you're dead anyhow."


Guy: "Cool!"

Satan: "What about drugs?"
Guy: "Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don't mean. . ?"

Satan: "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great
big bowl of crack or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine.
You can do all the drugs you want. You're dead so who cares."

Guy: "WOW! I never realized Hell was such a cool place!"

Satan: "You gay?"
Guy "No. "
Satan: "Oooooh, Fridays are gonna be tough ...

 

haha...thats a good one.

 

How about an Oldie

A husband and wife are having dinner at a fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open-mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away.
The wife glares at her husband and says, "Who the #&@! was that?"

"Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress."

"Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce."

"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Infiniti or Lexus in the garage, and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours."

Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm. "Who's that woman with Jim?" asks the wife.

"That's his mistress," says her husband.

"Ours is prettier," she replies.

Edit: Damn I just realized this forum already has a joke section.....never mind......I only check the klx section. [sm=bangbang.gif]

 

That was out of line... Even to say to Iowagay. Sorry deej

 

Ok first of all what are you doing looking at my mom's *****? Ewwwwww that's not right. Will has grandma fever!![8D][8D][8D]