heres a couple I thought of YEARS ago back when I was broke and pissed off....

'Im so broke I had to jack my dog off just to feed my cat'

'Im so broke I had to jack off just to get a warm meal'

sorry they are disgusting ppl, comedy is not always glamorous

 

Holy **** - did she just put her WHOLE FIST up there?!?!?

 

"you cant turn a ho into a housewife"

* ludacris *

 

"They're right to the left of us, to the right, behind and infront of us, they won't get away this time!"
-Chesty Puller


One of my favorite quotes even if it comes from a Marine.

<- Former Army

 

Our bodies are given life from the midst of nothingness.
Existing where there is nothing is the meaning of the phrase 'form is emptiness'.
That all things are provided for by nothingness is the meaning of the phrase 'emptiness is form'.
One should not think these are two seperate things. - Hagakuri, Book of the Samurai.

When you look back at your life, would you rather remember the things you didn't do, over the things you did? -don't remember

A wise man once said something. He's dead now. See what happens when you open your trap? -me

Last words of a redneck: "Hold my beer, I'ma try somethin".

That's all for tonight.

 

Good old Chosin Reservoir
"Remember, whatever you write, this was no retreat. All that happened was that we found more Chinese behind us than in front of us, so we about-faced and attacked."
- Chesty Puller

 

My daddy always said, "never let a woman sit on your face if you cant throw her off"

 

"Truly, I say to you, Unless a man is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God."
-Jesus Christ

[sm=insomnia.gif][sm=smiley13.gif]

This used to make NO sense to me.
[sm=shades.gif]

 

"Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they are new. They will stretch after you wear them a while"

lol

 

" Man who got to bed with girl on mind wake up with solution in hand."
" Man with hand in pocket feel c0cky all day"

"your still a kid you dont know sh*t about sh*t and pull up your god damn pants"