When I was getting ready to take the kids to school this morning my son said "lets make like a baby and head out", it took a minute for me but I couldnt stop laughing when I got it. Do you remember any of those old one liners like that?

Make like a tree and leave.
Make like a nose and blow.
Make like sheep herder and get the flock out of here.

 

Lol... i guess no one knows any one liners

 

Lol,I always liked "I'm out like a brown trout"

 

Thats a good one.

 

Let's make like a banana and split
Let's make like a couple of freaks and blow this joint.
Let's make like a hockey player and get the puck outta here.
Let's make like a cow patty and hit the trail!
Let's make like an abortion and cut out early
Let's make like a bowel and move
Let's make like an atom and split
Let's make like Van and Gogh
Let's make like a bakery truck and haul buns outta here.
Let's make like Michael Jackson and beat it
Let's make like Tom and Cruise

 

1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
2. A day without sunshine is like, night.
3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
4. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
5. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
7. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
8. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
9. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
10. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
11. Remember half the people you know are below average.
12. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
13. Nothing is fool-proof to a talented fool.
14. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
15. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
16. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
17. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
18. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
19. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
20. I intend to live forever - so far so good.
21. Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back.
22. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
23. Mind like a steel trap - rusty and illegal in most states.
24. Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
25. The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
26. Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
27. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.
28. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
29. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
30. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
31. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
32. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
33. Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
34. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
35. Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.
36. The colder the x-ray table the more of your body is required on it.
37. The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.
38. The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
39. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
40. To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
41. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
42. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
43. Two wrongs are only the beginning.
44. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
45. The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up.
46. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
47. Change is inevitable except from vending machines.
48. Get a new car for your spouse - it'll be a great trade!
49. Plan to be spontaneous - tomorrow.
50. Always try to be modest and be proud of it!
51. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
52. How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand...
53. Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.
54. If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you.
55. If you have lost something, it will be in the last place you look for it.
56. If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child.
57. If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people get married more than once.
58. If your feet smell and your nose runs, you've been made upside-down.
59. Everything you like is bad for you in some way.
60. If a job is worth doing, then get someone in to do it properly.

 

Ok, EMS, this means war!!!
[sm=joke.gif]

Sarcastic remarks to get you through the day:

And your crybaby whinny opinion would be...?
This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cats.
Does your train of thought have a caboose?
Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
A PBS mind in an MTV world.
Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.
Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.
Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
A woman's favorite position is CEO.
I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
Can I trade this job for what's behind door number 1?
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
Macho Law prohibits me from admitting I'm wrong.
Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
I plead contemporary insanity.
How do I set a laser printer to stun?
Meandering to a different drummer.
I majored in liberal arts. Will that be for here or to go?
Early to bed, early to rise makes people su****ious.
Conclusion: the place where you got tired of thinking.
Yield to temptation; it may not pass your way again.
Money is the root of all wealth.
Don't judge a book by its movie.
With a calendar, your days are numbered.
Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses.
People who live in stone houses shouldn't throw glasses.
Bad spellers of the world untie.
Friction is a drag.
Always be sincere, even if you don't mean it
Things are more like they used to be than they are now.
An electrician worries about current events.
If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?
A clear conscience is merely the result of bad memory.
I'm in shape. Round's a shape, isn't it?
It is bad luck to be superstitious.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station...
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
Women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older Then it dawned on me . . . they were cramming for their finals.
Never agree to plastic surgery if the doctor's office is full of portraits by Picasso.
VENI, VEDI, VISA: I came, I saw, I did a little shopping.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
Clones are people two.
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
How do I set my laser printer on stun?
How is it possible to have a civil war?
Atheism is a nonprophet organization.
Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
Why are they called "hemorrhoids". They should be called "asteroids"?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol
I intend to live forever - so far, so good
I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
If you ain't makin' waves, you ain't kickin' hard enough!
Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb!
Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have
Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of religion
The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something
Many people quit looking for work when they find a job
When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
Join the Army, meet interesting people,then kill them.
Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
OK, so what's the speed of dark?
All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice
...every morning is the dawn of a new error.
Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay.
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.
If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!
Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie!" till you can find a rock
If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.
Don't look back, they might be gaining on you.
Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.
Look out for #1. Don't step in #2 either.
Do witches run spell checkers?
What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.
My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
<-------- The information went data way -------->
Access denied--nah nani na nah nah!
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
All computers wait at the same speed.
Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things.
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.
To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated but not be able to say it.
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
The older you get, the better you realize you were.
I doubt, therefore I might be.
Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
Women like silent men, they think they're listening.
Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
A fool and his money are soon partying.
Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at em?
If you're born again, do you have two bellybuttons?
If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

 

Jesus loves you, but I think you’re an a$$hole!
Stamp Out Crime - Abolish the IRS
This Vehicle Swerves and Hits Pedestrians at Random
I have PMS and a handgun. ANY QUESTIONS?
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.
Your kid may be an honor student, but you're still an IDIOT!
Smile. It's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
Tastes like chicken keep on licking. Tastes like trout get the f**k out!
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
Forget about World Peace....visualize using your turn signal.
Consciousness: That annoying time between beers.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Born free... taxed to death.
Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
If you smoke after sex, you're doing it too fast.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
Some call it a six pack, I call it group therapy
HORN DOES NOT WORK- WATCH FOR FINGER!
Don't blame me! I didn't vote!
Mopeds are like fat women. Fun to ride but you don't want to be seen with em!
Don't drink and drive.... You might hit a bump and spill your drink.
My Kid Beat Up Your Honor Student!
Nice Girls Swallow!
Hang Up And Drive!
If you're not angry, you're not paying attention!
This bike is not abandoned!
I STOP FOR NO APPARENT REASON.
Don't like my driving? Call 1-800-F**K-YOU
"KEEP HONKING".... I'M RELOADING
If you’re Cute, Single, and Rich, HONK!
Don't laugh, your daughter could be in here.
WARNING: Driver only carries $20.00 worth of ammunition.
Sex is like air, it's only bad when your not getting any.
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, then baffle them with bull****.
Constipated people don't give a s**t.
Practice safe sex, go f**k yourself.
If you drink don't park, accidents cause people.
Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
If you don't believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut.
If that phone was up your a$$, maybe you could drive a little better.
Thank you for pot smoking.
To all you virgins thanks for nothing.
It's not how you pick your nose, but where you put the booger.
If your not a hemorrhoid, get off my a$$.
I'm out of bed and dressed....What more do you want.
One good thing about Alzheimer's is you get to meet new people every day.
If ignorance is bliss, why aren't you happy?
Hard work pays off later, laziness pays off now!
Don't get married. Find a woman you hate and buy her a house.
I still miss my ex. But my aim is getting better!
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
Losing a wife can be hard. In my case it was almost impossible.
Zero to bitch in 10 seconds
I don't discriminate, I hate everyone!
Wine me, Dine me, 69 me!
Student Driver-Get the hell out of my way!
HONK! If Monica Lewinsky blew you!
Practice safe sex, go f**k yourself.
Forget Subtlety... F**K YOU!
F**k the dog watch out for the owner.
If it's tourist season, Then why can't we hunt them.
Work Harder. People on Welfare Depend on You.
Hire the handicapped, they're fun to watch.
Happiness is lipstick on my dipstick!
You are smart as a horse and hung like Einstein!
I may be fat, but you are ugly and I can lose weight.
So many cats.....so few recipes.
My other ride is your MOTHER!!
[font=arial,helvetica,genev

 

Finally got some stuff going here!

Dont make me bust out the Acme stuff....

 

Uh, Ok, truce ... I'm clearly over-powered here by your "Big Gun" tactics!!!

For some reason, this reminds me of Danny Devito's line in Other People's Money:

"Lawyers are like nuclear weapons.You have yours, so I have mine, andas soon as weuse them theyf*ck up everything up."