My tire was thumping.

I thought it was flat

When I looked at the tire...

I noticed your cat.

Sorry!




Heard your wife left you,

How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it...

She moved in with me.



I must admit, you brought religion into my life.

I never believed in Hell until I met you.



As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...

That you're not here to ruin it for me.



Congratulations on your promotion.

Before you go...

Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

You'll probably need it again.



Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in Tennessee , Kentucky & West Virginia )


When we were together,

you always said you'd die for me.

Now that we've broken up,

I think it's time you kept your promise.



So your daughter's a hooker,

and it spoiled your day.

Look at the bright side,

it's really good pay.

 

Don't forget Arkansa.