Things you shouldn't say to females.
 

Lets come up with a list of things you should not say to a female...
The first thing that comes to mind is the weight conversation.. That is a trap regardless of how it comes outs.. Suggestion run as fast as you can..!

1. One of the worst for me was, Honey you appear to be gaining weight, that was almost my death!
2. Your acting like your mom right now!
3. Wow, your sister looks really hot!

P. S., let's try to keep this as clean as possible. This kind of post could go dirty real quick!

4. I remember what you looked like when you were that age!

5) you gonna eat all a that?
6) are you high?
7) you ever thought of a 3some with your friend (insert name)?
8) you ever thought of a 3some with your sister?
9) finish up by yourself... i gotta get to work.
10) dont spit that on my carpet... it'll stain.
11) just swallow it

I remember years back when a lady was cutting my hair. She had on what appeared to be a maternity dress. You know, one of those dresses where the waist is really high up toward the chest? I asked her "when are you due". "I'm not pregnant" she replied. I felt terrible.

So never ask a woman when she's "due" unless you are specifically told that she is pregnant. Live and learn I guess.

Mike

OMFG did you just put your WHOLE FIST up there?!?!

" hey babe, will you ride on the bike with me? I want to practice wheelies today without having to clutch it"....lol lol.....in an argument with the now ex wife , when I was hitting her soft spot about her weight gain. lol

lmao.
im drawing a blank.

" Make me a sammich biatch"

"you'll get flowers when i come home to a clean house and a hot meal... and some pie!"

Yeah, fix me a pie biatch!

You shouldn't have ordered fries with that shake.

Those jeans make your ass look big!

My bike makes your ass look big!

this just almost happened. then i thought of this thread.
how many bowls of cereal are you gonna have?

Looking at her mom and you say.."So at what point are you gonna look like that? And a follow up if your still standing, so this change is it gradual?....or BOOM! Overnight? :D

I've survived the "you're acting just like you mom" a few times, hopefully I learned to keep my inside voice from coming out.:p

When she is on top, do not yawn! You will not like the response!

or when you are on top, grab ahold real tight, and tell her " wow your sister is way better in bed than you are" .....and see how long you can hang on for. lol

my girl only has a 12yo brother.. ya think it'd still work???:D:D:D:D

Then you tell her "Your best friend was way better in bed"

Buaahahahah, you guys are funny!

that wouldnt be as much of a ride as it would be a brutal stabbing homicide. im not gonna test my luck

Thats called rodeo sex........... try to hang on for 8 seconds after you tell her "this is how your sister likes it"

or never say...."why do you wear a bra when you all ready wear a belt" lol lol lol

Your Pu**y looks like Willy Nelson!

never call a woman the B - word, the W-word, ask her who she is talking too or act jealous when she mentions a man's name, continually ask her whats wrong when she is pms'ing, lol for that matter - say anything to her while she is pms'ing. lol

Those are the ones that come to mind i'm sure there's more. :D

You are right about that Chiksta. I have noticed guys doing those things to their girls and would notice that look immediately afterwards, like, you idiot! I just dont get jealous over anything anymore. If you have to be jealous, it just aint worth it!

How about... "If you lost some weight, you'd look just like Ricky Lake"

OOOH, that's bad Rocket!

"Just think... We wouldn't be together now if your best friend would have said yes."

Huaaahhhh! That's a good one rocket. How about, wait a minute baby, I forgot my 2x4 and some rope.

"It's only fisting if it's elbow deep!"

Hey kids,

**** seems to get them them rather upset here in Flatistan :D

"Then that hairy beast started chasing me down. At first I thought it was you, but it didn't want my wallet!"

Hey kids,

"Kunt" seems to get them them rather upset here in Flatistan :D

I think I lost my bike in there! Give it back now!

lol ... second post is charm.

Sister and rodeo ride was the best so far.

before i donkey punch you biatch

show me one place they do like it :D

This still cracks my sh*t up. My guy has a pet ferret and happens to work in an office with a bunch of women. His first day at his job, he started to walk out of the office and said, "Lunch time. I'm going to go home and play with my weasel."

Dirty, dirty minded old women wanted to lynch him for that. Bwa ha!

Is flatistan like fartworld or something? As in flatulance?