THE RANDOM PICTURE THREAD
Your Humble Moderator/Admin
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 21,060
From: Washington
1st Gear Member
Did you hear about the New 3 Million Dollar West Virginia State Lottery? You gets 3 dollars a year for a million years.
Why do folks from West Virginia go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more? 17 and under not admitted.
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia? Everyone has the same DNA.
Did you hear that the governor's mansion in West Virginia burned down? Almost took out the whole trailer park.
Two West Virginians are walking down different ends of a street toward each other and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, "Hey, Tommy Ray, what'cha got in th' bag?"
"Jus' some chickens."
"If I guess how many there are, can I have one?"
"I'll give you both of them."
"OK. Ummmmm......, five?"
A West Virginian came home and found his house on fire, rushed next door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry over here. My house is on fire!"
"OK," replied the fireman, "how do we get there?"
"Say, don't you still have those big red trucks?"
The West Virginian and his gal were embracing passionately in the front seat of the car.
"Want to go in the back seat?" she asked.
"No," he replied.
A few minutes later she asked, "Now do you want to get in the back seat?"
"No," he said again, "I wanna stay here in the front seat with you."
A West Virginian hitchhiker was picked up by a guy in a big Lincoln Continental. The West Virginian noticed a bunch of golf tees on the front seat and asked, "What are those things for?" The driver said, "They're to hold my ***** while I drive." "Boy," exclaimed the West Virginian, "these Lincoln Continentals have everything, don't they?"
Why do folks from West Virginia go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more? 17 and under not admitted.
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia? Everyone has the same DNA.
Did you hear that the governor's mansion in West Virginia burned down? Almost took out the whole trailer park.
Two West Virginians are walking down different ends of a street toward each other and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, "Hey, Tommy Ray, what'cha got in th' bag?"
"Jus' some chickens."
"If I guess how many there are, can I have one?"
"I'll give you both of them."
"OK. Ummmmm......, five?"
A West Virginian came home and found his house on fire, rushed next door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry over here. My house is on fire!"
"OK," replied the fireman, "how do we get there?"
"Say, don't you still have those big red trucks?"
The West Virginian and his gal were embracing passionately in the front seat of the car.
"Want to go in the back seat?" she asked.
"No," he replied.
A few minutes later she asked, "Now do you want to get in the back seat?"
"No," he said again, "I wanna stay here in the front seat with you."
A West Virginian hitchhiker was picked up by a guy in a big Lincoln Continental. The West Virginian noticed a bunch of golf tees on the front seat and asked, "What are those things for?" The driver said, "They're to hold my ***** while I drive." "Boy," exclaimed the West Virginian, "these Lincoln Continentals have everything, don't they?"
Your Humble Moderator/Admin
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 21,060
From: Washington
1st Gear Member
A West Virginian walks into a hardware store and asks for a chain saw that will cut 6 trees in one hour. The salesman recommends the top of the line model. The West Virginian is suitably impressed, and buys it. The next day he brings it back, complaining that it would only cut down 1 tree and it took ALL DAY! The salesman takes the chain saw, starts it up to see what's wrong, and the West Virginian says, "What's that noise?"
Your Humble Moderator/Admin
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 21,060
From: Washington
1st Gear Member
Dumb West Virginia Laws
No children may attend school with their breath smelling of "wild onions."
When a railroad passes within 1 mile of a community of 100 or more people in it, they must build a station and stop there regularly to pick up and drop off passengers.
It is illegal to snooze on a train.
Doctors and dentists may not place a woman under anesthesia unless a third person is present.
According to the state constitution, it is unlawful for anyone to own a red or a black flag.
If you wear a hat inside a theater, you may be fined.
Roadkill may be taken home for supper.
Whistling underwater is prohibited.
No children may attend school with their breath smelling of "wild onions."
When a railroad passes within 1 mile of a community of 100 or more people in it, they must build a station and stop there regularly to pick up and drop off passengers.
It is illegal to snooze on a train.
Doctors and dentists may not place a woman under anesthesia unless a third person is present.
According to the state constitution, it is unlawful for anyone to own a red or a black flag.
If you wear a hat inside a theater, you may be fined.
Roadkill may be taken home for supper.
Whistling underwater is prohibited.
