The Future!
#1
The Future!
Subject: THE FUTURE
> Headlines from the year 2029
>
> Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest
> country in the world, Mexifornia formally known as California. White
> minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third
> language
>
> Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
>
>
> Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.
>
> Couple petitions court to reinstate Heterosexual marriage.
>
> Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the
> Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Syria, Afghanistan, and Lebanon).
>
> Iraq still closed off - Physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more
> years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
>
> France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.
>
> Castro finally dies at age 112. Cuban cigars can now be imported legally,
> but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
>
> George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
>
> Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail
> delivery to Wednesdays only.
>
> 85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.
>
>
>
> Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
>
> Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed,
> they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
>
> Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
>
> Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
>
> Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.
>
> New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters
> and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.
>
> Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political
> contributions to campaign accounts
>
> Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman.
>
> IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
>
> Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.
>
George W. Hardy, Sr.
__________________
> Headlines from the year 2029
>
> Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest
> country in the world, Mexifornia formally known as California. White
> minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third
> language
>
> Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
>
>
> Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.
>
> Couple petitions court to reinstate Heterosexual marriage.
>
> Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the
> Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Syria, Afghanistan, and Lebanon).
>
> Iraq still closed off - Physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more
> years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
>
> France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.
>
> Castro finally dies at age 112. Cuban cigars can now be imported legally,
> but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
>
> George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
>
> Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail
> delivery to Wednesdays only.
>
> 85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.
>
>
>
> Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
>
> Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed,
> they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
>
> Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
>
> Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
>
> Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.
>
> New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters
> and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.
>
> Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political
> contributions to campaign accounts
>
> Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman.
>
> IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
>
> Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.
>
George W. Hardy, Sr.
__________________
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