Smart as a block of ice.

 

youre about as queer as a $3 bill

 

Sex is like eating KFC....When you are done nibbling on the breast and thigh, you have a nice box to put your bone in....... lol lol

 

He couldn't (fill-in-the-blank) his way out of a paper bag!

The elevator doesn't go all the way to the top...

(To a dumbass person) How have you survived for this long?

(about a jobsite) This place has more tools than Sears.


i got more, but i'm braindead at this moment..

 

If a cow laughs really hard, does milk come out of it's nose.......lol

My sole purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others....

I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

"I had a threesome once. The problem was I didn't know who to thank afterwards" *Rodney Dangerfield

 

"Thats about as funny as a FART in a spacesuit"

"Serious as a F*ckin heart attack"

 

Tommy: No, what I mean is, you can get a good look at a T-bone by sticking your head up a butcher's ***... No, wait. It's gotta be your bull.

 

Ohhhhhh How come you edited it, I liked the whole version, hehehe you can't hide from the Blackberry.

 

Here you go Deej

Tommy: Hey, I'll tell you what. You can get a good look at a butcher's *** by sticking your head up there. But, wouldn't you rather to take his word for it?Mr. Brady: [confused] What? I'm failing to make the connection here.Tommy: No, what I mean is, you can get a good look at a T-bone by sticking your head up a butcher's ***... No, wait. It's gotta be your bull.Richard: Wow...Mr. Brady: Boy, I'm at a loss for words here -Tommy: Forget it, I quit, I can't do this any more, man. My head's about to explode. My whole life sucks. I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know where I'm going. My dad just died, we just killed Bambi, I'm out here getting my *** kicked and every time I drive down the road I wanna jerk the wheel into a goddamned bridge abutment!

 

SWEET!![8D] Loved that movie. A moment of silence for Farley......................................OK as you were.