You know you're a redneck when ...
#1
You know you're a redneck when ...
Some oldies but goodies, and a few new clues, too:
1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.
3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.
6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
17. You have a rag for a gas cap.
18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
19. You wonder how service stations keep their restroom's so clean.
20. You can spit without opening your mouth.
21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.
24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.
25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.
28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.
30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.
1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.
3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.
6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
17. You have a rag for a gas cap.
18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
19. You wonder how service stations keep their restroom's so clean.
20. You can spit without opening your mouth.
21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.
24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.
25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.
28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.
30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.
#2
RE: You know you're a redneck when ...
You know your a redneck if you met your wife at your family reunion. I love redneck jokes, 'cause it reminds me of my family. I actually have a uncle who is named Colonel. All of the men in my family have a 4X4, hell my sister has a 4X4 Expedition. Gotta love it.
#3
RE: You know you're a redneck when ...
ORIGINAL: shinobi636
You know your a redneck if you met your wife at your family reunion.
You know your a redneck if you met your wife at your family reunion.
You know you're a redneck if your family tree doesn't branch.
#7
RE: You know you're a redneck when ...
Haha, these are great! I love redneck jokes because I have such a redneck background... the cool whip 'bowls' (I still do that, actually, and use jars as cups, but I'm in a blue collar job and on my own, so I have an excuse [:'(]), dumpster diving, fly swatter entertainment, and can of Raid on the kitchen table (back when my family lived in a trailer park when we first moved to the US)... and plenty of people I knew back in Louisiana were pillars of redneckery. In Rosepine, the family trees often didn't branch, seriously. The town was too small for people not to be related, and they were so ignorant and judgemental that they didn't like accepting--nontheless breeding with--outsiders.
#10
RE: You know you're a redneck when ...
ORIGINAL: BigRig18Wheeler
You know you're a redneck when: the way you got curcumsized is, your dad hit your sister in the chin!! LMAO!!
You know you're a redneck when: the way you got curcumsized is, your dad hit your sister in the chin!! LMAO!!