1) Did you fart? Cuz you blew me away.
2) Are yer parents retarded? Cuz ya sure are special.
3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea. I can't hold it in.
4) Do you have a library card? Cuz I'd like to sign you out.
5) Is there a mirror in yer pants? Cuz I can see myself in em.
6) If you was a tree and I were a Squirrel, I'd store my nuts in yer hole.
7) You might not be the best lookin’ girl here, but beauty's only a light switch away.
8) Man - "Fat Penguin!" Woman - "WHAT?" Man - "I just wanted to say something that would break the ice."
9) I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make yer bed-rock.
10) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went inta this cheap motel room.
11) Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner.
12) If yer gunna regret this in the mornin, we kin sleep til afternoon.
13) Yer face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.

 

Ok I'll add a few. Disclaimer: The events depicted in thispost are fictitious. Any similarity to any person living or dead is merely coincidental.

The fact that I'm missing my teeth just means there's more room for your tongue
Honey, I'm hotter than a rooster in a hen house!
Why do you think they call it a pick-up truck?
You ever wonder why they call the back of a pick-up truck the BED, baby?
I know we're cousins, but this is Arkansas.
I got a six pack of Busch and the new Hank Williams Jr. CD
Baby you're finer than a new set of snow tires.
Wanna see the new Velvet Elvis painting I just hung in my trailer?
God wants us to be together. That's why he gave us the same parents!
You're prettier than a beer truck pulling up in my driveway
Get in the truck, sis!


And some more.

Excuse me, but I'm new in town, can I have directions to your place?

Can I buy you a drink - or would you just prefer the five bucks?

I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.

I wish I were a tear so i could start in your eyes, live on your face, and die on your lips.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.

Am I cute enough yet? Or do you need more to drink?

You must be the reason for global warming because you're hot.

You know what would look great on you? Me.

Can I read your T shirt in brail?

Do you have a map? Because I keep getting lost in your eyes.

You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my Porsche.

I think I need to call heaven because they've lost one of their angels.Is your name Gillette? Because you're the best a man can get!

Do you believe in the hereafter? Well, then I guess you know what I'm here after.

Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants.

The body is made up of 90% water and I'm thirsty.

Baby you must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night!

Are you an overdue book? Because you've got FINE written all over you!

How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice- can I get your number?

I have Skittles in my mouth, wanna taste the rainbow?

That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?

You know, winning the lottery doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart.

If I had a garden I'd put your tulips and my tulips together.

If you were a new sandwich at Mcdonalds, you'de be called McGorgeous.

All those curves! And me with no brakes!

Can I even get a fake number?

You'll do.

You might as well sleep with me because I'm going to tell everyone we did anyway!

Your mom was pretty good, so i figured you would be too.

I would say God bless you but it looks like he already did.

It's a good thing I have my library card, because I'm checking you out.
Oh, sorry, I'm reserved for someone else.

Damn, I'm glad I'm not blind!

If I followed you home, would you keep me?

If I told you you had a gorgeous body, would you hold it against me?

You look like my second wife! And I’ve only been married once!

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

Do you believe in love at first site, or should I walk past you again?

If you were Sprite, I'd obey my thirst!

Excuse me can I borrow a quarter, it is an emergency.
My mom told me to giver her a call the first time I fell in love.

I lost my number, can I have yours?

Let's make like fabric softner and snuggle

Do you like bananas or blueberries?
Why?
I wanna know what kind of pancackes to make in the morning.

Hey baby. Roses are red, violets are blue.
I'm not a poet, but damn girl, you're hot!

Hi. there. Inheriting 50 million dollars doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart.

 

Sheesh!! That was a long post, sorry[8D]

 

How about. I just pooped my pants, can I get into yours.

 

Ok here's the deal, as I am writing this I am laughing so hard my wife in the next room asks what I am laughing about, now tears are coming out and I can't stop. That is literally the funniest thing I have heard in a really long time. Then my wife comes in and I try and explain that we started this post about redneck pickup lines, and of course she doesnt appreciate like I do, I mean she laughed, but no tears. Thanks man that made my day.

 

That is great. I guess it is still hot and steamy still. LOL

 

I found that absurdly funny, as well, and got myself into the same situation -- my wife in the other room was asking me what was so funny.

Luckily, my wife is used to my strange sense of humor, yet for some inexplicable reason, loves me anyway!!!

So after telling her about the "pooped my pants" line, I was able to regain some credibility by telling her some of the other lines. (Thanks for all the additional material, Deej!!!)

Her favorite: Am I cute enough yet? Or do you need more to drink?

 

Am I cute enough yet? Or do you need more to drink?

I've actually had someone use this one on me - told him I needed a couple more! I know.........that was mean, but hey - he asked for it!