Heavens Renovations
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From: Ft. Gordon (Augusta) GA
Heavens Renovations
3 guys are standing together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter walks up to them and says "Okay, here's the deal. Heaven's housing section is under renovation right now, so we can only currently accept 1 out of every three people until renovations are over. So what I'm going to do is ask you all how you died. The one with the worst story gets into heaven right now." Then he walks up to the first guy and asks "How did you die?"
The first guy answers "Well, I was just coming back from a year long tour in Iraq. I got out of the elevator in front of my 32nd floor highrise apartment in Manhattan. I was getting ready to knock on the door, when I heard my wife moaning. As you can imagine, I was pissed. I beat on the door until the hinges broke, and stormed back to the bedroom. When I got in, my wife was pretending to be asleep, and the guy she was messing around with was nowhere to be found. So I went looking for him. After searching the aparment, I finall found him, hanging over the railing of my balcony. I opened the door and went out there, and he started begging me to help him up. I couldn't believe his nerve, and I started beating on his hands. He wouldn't let go, so I went in the house and grabbed a hammer. I beat his hands until he broke his fingers and he fell. I looked over the railing expecting to see him splattered on the ground, but he wasn't... he was sitting on the grass moving. I went into the house, pushed the refrigerator out to the balcony and over the railing. What I didn't realize was that my foot was tangled up in the cord, and here I am."
St. Peter looked at the guy with amazement. "Wow, that's a pretty rough story." He said, "I'll get back with you." So he walks up to the second guy and asks "So how did you die"
The second guy replies, "I live in a 33rd floor highrise apartment in Manhattan. One morning, I was out on the balcony doing my morning stretches, and I leaned to far over the railing and fell. I caught the railing one floor down and held on for dear life. Knowing that I couldn't hang on for long, I started calling out for help. That's whena guy came out on the balcony and started beating my hands. I begged and begged for him to help me, and he went into the house. I though 'he's finally going to get somebody to help me up' but instead, he came back with a hammer and broke my fingers, causing me to fall. On the way down the canvas awning in front of the main entrance acted as a trampoline, and bounced me safely to the grass. I looked up to thank God for saving my life when I saw this refrigerator, and here I am.
St. Peter looked stunned. "I don't think that one can be topped." Said St. Peter. So he walked up to the third guy, and asked "How did you die?"
"Well," the third guy said."Imagine that you are naked, hiding in a refrigerator!"
Vic
The first guy answers "Well, I was just coming back from a year long tour in Iraq. I got out of the elevator in front of my 32nd floor highrise apartment in Manhattan. I was getting ready to knock on the door, when I heard my wife moaning. As you can imagine, I was pissed. I beat on the door until the hinges broke, and stormed back to the bedroom. When I got in, my wife was pretending to be asleep, and the guy she was messing around with was nowhere to be found. So I went looking for him. After searching the aparment, I finall found him, hanging over the railing of my balcony. I opened the door and went out there, and he started begging me to help him up. I couldn't believe his nerve, and I started beating on his hands. He wouldn't let go, so I went in the house and grabbed a hammer. I beat his hands until he broke his fingers and he fell. I looked over the railing expecting to see him splattered on the ground, but he wasn't... he was sitting on the grass moving. I went into the house, pushed the refrigerator out to the balcony and over the railing. What I didn't realize was that my foot was tangled up in the cord, and here I am."
St. Peter looked at the guy with amazement. "Wow, that's a pretty rough story." He said, "I'll get back with you." So he walks up to the second guy and asks "So how did you die"
The second guy replies, "I live in a 33rd floor highrise apartment in Manhattan. One morning, I was out on the balcony doing my morning stretches, and I leaned to far over the railing and fell. I caught the railing one floor down and held on for dear life. Knowing that I couldn't hang on for long, I started calling out for help. That's whena guy came out on the balcony and started beating my hands. I begged and begged for him to help me, and he went into the house. I though 'he's finally going to get somebody to help me up' but instead, he came back with a hammer and broke my fingers, causing me to fall. On the way down the canvas awning in front of the main entrance acted as a trampoline, and bounced me safely to the grass. I looked up to thank God for saving my life when I saw this refrigerator, and here I am.
St. Peter looked stunned. "I don't think that one can be topped." Said St. Peter. So he walked up to the third guy, and asked "How did you die?"
"Well," the third guy said."Imagine that you are naked, hiding in a refrigerator!"
Vic
