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couldn't help it. I'm bored!!

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Old Apr 13, 2006 | 01:46 AM
  #1  
BigRig18Wheeler's Avatar
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Default couldn't help it. I'm bored!!

One day, in line at the works cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him "My elbow hurts like hell. I suppose I'd better see a doctor!" "Listen, don't waste your time down at the surgery," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong, and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and only costs five bucks.....a lot quicker and better than a doctor.

So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart. He deposits five bucks and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks".

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure. Jack hurried back to Wal-Mart, eager to check what would happen. He deposits five bucks, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. The computer prints the following:

1) Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2) Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3) Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4) Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5) And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better........

Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.

ha ha ha ha!!! LOL!!
 
Old Apr 13, 2006 | 03:29 AM
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LMAO thats funny as hell man.
 
Old Apr 13, 2006 | 06:59 AM
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Default RE: couldn't help it. I'm bored!!

I liked that
 
Old Apr 13, 2006 | 03:01 PM
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That's not funny, my wife is having twins.....




okay I'm single, but that's a good one lol
 
Old Apr 13, 2006 | 04:01 PM
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Default RE: couldn't help it. I'm bored!!

Great one! I think you're trying to take over MK's job as Jester here on PWI.......
 
Old Apr 13, 2006 | 07:19 PM
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ORIGINAL: bluebird

Great one! I think you're trying to take over MK's job as Jester here on PWI.......
theres no way he's gonna take my job...... but he is in training.... lol lol lol lol ...... good one bro....
 
Old Apr 14, 2006 | 09:40 AM
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Default RE: couldn't help it. I'm bored!!


ORIGINAL: MAD KAW


ORIGINAL: bluebird

Great one! I think you're trying to take over MK's job as Jester here on PWI.......
theres no way he's gonna take my job...... but he is in training.... lol lol lol lol ...... good one bro....

lol lol!! yes, i have not yet reached the level to sustain the power of the darkside!!! MK: the force is strong in that one!! lol lol
 
Old Apr 14, 2006 | 09:42 AM
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Default RE: couldn't help it. I'm bored!!


ORIGINAL: BigRig18Wheeler


ORIGINAL: MAD KAW


ORIGINAL: bluebird

Great one! I think you're trying to take over MK's job as Jester here on PWI.......
theres no way he's gonna take my job...... but he is in training.... lol lol lol lol ...... good one bro....

lol lol!! yes, i have not yet reached the level to sustain the power of the darkside!!! MK: the force is strong in that one!! lol lol
yes i am young one.....
 
Old Apr 14, 2006 | 10:01 AM
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Default RE: couldn't help it. I'm bored!!

hey Mk? didn't you used to work on a fish boat?
 
Old Apr 14, 2006 | 10:03 AM
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no, it was a tug boat..... lol lol lol
 



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