Yeh I know its been awhile... but I need some feedback here folks
 

Some of you will think I am beinga butthole saying this and others will be indifferent.

My grandmother is stage 4 end of life with her cancer. She is to the point where she requires 24/7 ho****e care, to include changing diapers and changing the bed pan.

Where I am getting at is my family has guilt tripped me into doing all the ho****e nurse stuff for my grandmother. I really think it is disgusting to have to do all of this. My grandmothers insurance covers a 3rd party to come in and handle all of her ho****e necessities under family supervision.

My view on the situation is that I love my grandmother very much. I want the time I do spend with her to be quality time where we can eat our ice cream, talk about the beach, play cards, and whatever we want to do. I feel strongly about this because I feel she could receive better care if it were from a 3rd party becuase my mother is a chickenshhhh when it comes to her feelings and is always being mean to my grandmother because she cant handle the stress. My uncle is indifferent. And I try to stay as far away from the bodily fluids as possible.

You wouldnt call your accountant to fix your plumbing so why are my family guilt tripping me into caring for my grandmother? Ive talked to my father and he agrees with me. He and I work very much and the time we do have off we want to chill out and not have to babysit an adult. Additionally, I enrolled in school again so I could acquire more skills and really don't need to be continually interrupted while trying to do homework for caring for an adult.

I know this is coming across as I I I but I did not go to school to be a freaking nurse to have to deal with people's bodily fluids. This is also coming from the same person who can not stand a man to sweat on her during relations. I cant freaking deal with it and don't think I should have to be forced into dealing with it. Did I mention I really have a severe dislike for children and have never changed a diaper and intend to maintain my virginity on this?

Sounds mean but i've already told my parents that if they ever get like this I am not wiping any of their butts, that I will hire a 3rd party to do it. Sounds mean, but they have me by the balls in this situation. I look like the arse hole if I dont do it. God forbid they call my brother, his wife, or any of my cousins. Nope, it falls over on me. I dont think this is fair!

I knew there was a freaking alterior motive for my family asking me to move back home to be by them. They wanted me to assume some of that responsibility. I have news for them. After all this is over I am moving my ass to another state because I am over this.

Ok soap box rant is over. So what do ya'll think?

I know the feeling, I have avoided going to see my grandmother for the longest time because I just cant stand to see how bad off she is now. If your insurance covers it by all means let someone else do it, there is no shame in that, as long as you are still there for her when it really matters.

Dont be a stranger girl, and stop using racist terms like ho****e. Your so horrible :p

I didnt know that h-o-s-p-i-c-e was a racist term??? LOL!

I know, I have been away for so long. We have this oil spill here now and everyone in their spare time is out helping with that in addition to their regular full time jobs and such.

I will make a better effort to me more active on the forums. :)

So, how have ya been?

I have been Awesome, but you would know that if you were around :p

I hate how words within a word trigger the auto censor, deej needs to fix it.

How is the oil spill treating ya? The company I worked for went down to map the spill but I guess they didnt need me for it, I'm unemployed now...

i think you should go to your parents house and crap your pants and ask them to clean it.
j/k

or better yet save all the dirty diapers and put them in their bedroom until they agree to hire the 3rd party

It is tough to be a nurse let alone a caring individual and not seem "too cold". Bed pans, IV's, blood drawing, urine and feces analysis is all part of the nurse game. If you cannot do this normal feat with your loved one, then you may have picked a wrong career if you need to do the same with others' loved ones.

My heart is really out there for your Gma and you in this ordeal. I am doing a VFW Memorial ride for my dad who did not make it this yr. Suck it up chic since you have been chosen as the responsible adult in your family.

Sorry about your G ma. I took care of my wife her last 3 months, bed ridden. i hope they don't expect you to do it alone. Watching someone die before your eyes and taking care of them 24/ 7 will suck the life out of you.

if the insurance covers it then there is no reason to hold you back, no reason you can't be there WITH the 3rd party.

@ Prom - You are such an arse and that is why I love ya!

Here in AL where I live we are taking precautions by laying booms and picking up trash on the beach so there will be less to clean up when it does hit. In LA it smells like an exhaust pipe. Sickening!

@ tucaz #2 - I think I may have to do that. Mommmmm I have a poopie. Can you come clean it pleassseeee??? hehe

@ Dragone and Ol Guy -

Ol Guy, I am relating to what you say that it will suck the life out of you. I am grieving now and she isn't even gone. She was my gambling, beach, Mardi Gras, and cooking buddy and I don't have that anymore. It sucks to have to watch her go through all this. Her medicine makes her so loopy and she doesn't understand what is going on. Her mind is slipping. I guess that is good because she doesn't realize what is going on too well anymore. The Lord did answer my prayer in the regard that she not be alone when she passes but dude, I never imagined it would go down like this. I mean, this is slow and agonizing. Everyday it is a toss up on how she is going to be mentally and physically.

Dragone, yeah the bodily fluid thing is a little too much & I really think that needs to be specifically reserved for a better qualified individual. I'm just an engineer, what do I know about these things???

Sucks to hear about your Father but at least now he is living a better life in heaven free from pain and sickness.

How did the ride go?

Yo Yo Chiksta! It sure is good to hear from you, but wish it was on better terms, ( considering your Grandma ). The only thing I can tell you is that some people are cut out for that stuff and others aren't. From what you have said you aren't, and I can totally understand because I'm not either.
You are just going to have to tell your mother that either she is going to do it, or get some outside help. Let her know that on a certain day you will no longer be doing it and she had better get on the stick and make a decision, it's her Mother!
You have always let your family head trip you into doing things that you dont want to do and now is the time to stand up for yourself!
I truly hope everything works out for you!

Love ya ...........Worlok