Happy birthday whorelock!!!
#12
01-16-2009, 12:38 PM
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Indianapolis and Toledo
Posts: 5,599
Man what a night. I took my two new friends, Claire and Diane out to dinner at a great steak house. Then went to a nice local bar where we began getting trashed. I slowed down on the drinking because I was driving, but the girls drank enough for 4 people.
We closed the bar down, and went to my place.
I started mixing margaritas and putting double shots of tequilla in them, all the time thinking, man this is going to be a great night.
They probably had upward of 6 margaritas within a hours time. We had the stereo blasting, and was all dirty dancing, and I do mean dirty!!!
We were all making out and doing the touchy feely, and it was starting to get real heavy!
The girls ended up on the couch in a lip lock, with their ***** out, and I was pretty much on the side just touching enything and everything I wanted to touch.
Then we all decided to have another drink, so I practically ran into the kitchen to mix some more drinks.
That's when it happened! OMG, they were kissing when Diane actually threw up into Claires mouth. That made Claire mad, so she started hitting Diane, all the while they were both barfing all over my 5000 dollar persian rug, not to mention my couch, coffee table, and pretty much everything in my living room. All the while trying to fight. They broke a Tiffany lamp, knocked down two Eyvand Earl paintings worth big bucks, and basically trashed the hell out of my entire living room.
While this was going on, I was trying to break them up, got puked on, then I got sick.
Holy cow, there we were, all three pukeing our guts out, two girls trying to kill each other, and I am just freaking out.
I decided to just sit down and let them go because everytime I would get them apart, they would just attack each other again.
My living room looked like a california riot had occurred, and it smelled like something from the bowels of hell.
They fought for at least thirty minutes, but it seemed like hours. I actually ended up just watching them and laughing my *** off. What to hell, my house was destroyed, so it couldn't get much worse, right?
When they finally were so tired that they just couldn't fight anymore, they sat down and Diane passes out faster than anybody has ever went into a coma. Claire said oh my god! and ran to the downstairs bathroom.
Well I was just sitting there thinking WTF just happened? This sh*t doesn't happen on your birthday, does it? And looking at my living room that was in pure shambles.
So after about 15 minutes I began to wonder what happened to Claire.
I opened the door to te bathroom, and there she lay with her pants around her ankles, and projectile poop all over the bathroom.
I almost went into shock! This was one of the nastiest things I have ever seen! I felt like shooting myself, but then who would have cleaned up the mess?
So what to do huh? I went back to the living room and threw Diane over my shoulder, and carried her into the bathroom, and layed her on the floor by Claire.
I then turned on the shower, stripped them both down, and layed them in the shower.
I took th shower head and rinsed them both down until all of the body fluids were elliminated.
Then I turned off the hot water and let the cold *** well water hit them. Very shortly it sounded like two cats hung up in a fan belt! They started flouncing around like convulsive fish out of water and frikking ripped the entire door frame out of the shower.
Holly crap, there goes another 400 dollars because the sliding shower doors were only installed a month ago.
At this point, I was contemplating just setting my house on fire, and collecting the insurance. I honestly just wanted to lay down and cry!
Well a guy just can never give up. So I dried them off, and carried them both upstairs, and put them in my bed. Then proceded to clean my obliterated house.
I was up until 4 oclock this morning and have gotten most of the house back in order, except for the faint smell of vomit, and destroyed shower doors.
You know, these are absolutely beautiful girls. They are classy, dress well, have successful careers, and genuinly nice ladies. Yes they are bi, but they have been friends since childhood, and are only bi with each other.
It is absolutely amazing what copious amounts of alcohol will do to some women. It's like a liquid labotomy I swear. These are highly intelligent girls, and I have never witnessed anything quite like this before.
Well, the girls are still in bed, so I am going to go crawl in between them, and try this again.
Wish me luck my brothers!
We closed the bar down, and went to my place.
I started mixing margaritas and putting double shots of tequilla in them, all the time thinking, man this is going to be a great night.
They probably had upward of 6 margaritas within a hours time. We had the stereo blasting, and was all dirty dancing, and I do mean dirty!!!
We were all making out and doing the touchy feely, and it was starting to get real heavy!
The girls ended up on the couch in a lip lock, with their ***** out, and I was pretty much on the side just touching enything and everything I wanted to touch.
Then we all decided to have another drink, so I practically ran into the kitchen to mix some more drinks.
That's when it happened! OMG, they were kissing when Diane actually threw up into Claires mouth. That made Claire mad, so she started hitting Diane, all the while they were both barfing all over my 5000 dollar persian rug, not to mention my couch, coffee table, and pretty much everything in my living room. All the while trying to fight. They broke a Tiffany lamp, knocked down two Eyvand Earl paintings worth big bucks, and basically trashed the hell out of my entire living room.
While this was going on, I was trying to break them up, got puked on, then I got sick.
Holy cow, there we were, all three pukeing our guts out, two girls trying to kill each other, and I am just freaking out.
I decided to just sit down and let them go because everytime I would get them apart, they would just attack each other again.
My living room looked like a california riot had occurred, and it smelled like something from the bowels of hell.
They fought for at least thirty minutes, but it seemed like hours. I actually ended up just watching them and laughing my *** off. What to hell, my house was destroyed, so it couldn't get much worse, right?
When they finally were so tired that they just couldn't fight anymore, they sat down and Diane passes out faster than anybody has ever went into a coma. Claire said oh my god! and ran to the downstairs bathroom.
Well I was just sitting there thinking WTF just happened? This sh*t doesn't happen on your birthday, does it? And looking at my living room that was in pure shambles.
So after about 15 minutes I began to wonder what happened to Claire.
I opened the door to te bathroom, and there she lay with her pants around her ankles, and projectile poop all over the bathroom.
I almost went into shock! This was one of the nastiest things I have ever seen! I felt like shooting myself, but then who would have cleaned up the mess?
So what to do huh? I went back to the living room and threw Diane over my shoulder, and carried her into the bathroom, and layed her on the floor by Claire.
I then turned on the shower, stripped them both down, and layed them in the shower.
I took th shower head and rinsed them both down until all of the body fluids were elliminated.
Then I turned off the hot water and let the cold *** well water hit them. Very shortly it sounded like two cats hung up in a fan belt! They started flouncing around like convulsive fish out of water and frikking ripped the entire door frame out of the shower.
Holly crap, there goes another 400 dollars because the sliding shower doors were only installed a month ago.
At this point, I was contemplating just setting my house on fire, and collecting the insurance. I honestly just wanted to lay down and cry!
Well a guy just can never give up. So I dried them off, and carried them both upstairs, and put them in my bed. Then proceded to clean my obliterated house.
I was up until 4 oclock this morning and have gotten most of the house back in order, except for the faint smell of vomit, and destroyed shower doors.
You know, these are absolutely beautiful girls. They are classy, dress well, have successful careers, and genuinly nice ladies. Yes they are bi, but they have been friends since childhood, and are only bi with each other.
It is absolutely amazing what copious amounts of alcohol will do to some women. It's like a liquid labotomy I swear. These are highly intelligent girls, and I have never witnessed anything quite like this before.
Well, the girls are still in bed, so I am going to go crawl in between them, and try this again.
Wish me luck my brothers!
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