My Father inspires no confidence in me whatsoever. He continually makes sure he finds the negativity in everything I do to try and better myself. He finds the negativity in any accomplishment I do and wonders why I haven't done better.

In fact, he is the one single person who has hurt me the most than any other individual has. But yet for some reason I still allow him to be an instrumental part of my life. For why? I have no idea. He is so consumed in his job that he doesnt want to take time out for his own baby girl.

For example, I get my butt back in college so I can have a career change in a few years. It is an online institution but suits my work schedule and lifestyle well. He tells me that there is no credibility in the school I choose to go to and that I needed to pursue a more traditional education route.

I have two walls full of awards and **** I've received from busting my *** my whole life. I have received little to no praise from him on it. But yet, my brother who is a college dropout who struggled to get through high school that married a *****, does anything that is less than commendable IMO gets praised and put on this pedestal. Its BS. Its BS. Its BS!

Today I get called back for a 3rd interview for a job I am trying to get. I am all excited and releived that I have been called back and were certain in my mind that if an employer is going to call me in for a 3rd interview that they would be interested in hiring me. My dad makes sure to tell me that they have doubt in my abilities and are not sure if they are interviewing me a 3rd time. Told me to go in there and not to expect to get it since it does not exactly parallel with all my abilities.

Abilities??? How in the F^&K would he know what they are????? He has never given me the chance to show him what I can do. In fact, he has his salary he has now because of the contract negotiations I told him to propose to his business partners.

Im just F'ing sick of it! I hate even telling him anything because I know all he is gna do is knock me down. I hate asking for favors because I know his intention is two fold if I get help.

The hell with it!

 

Sorry to hear that Chik,
Thats not the way Fathers are to act.

 

Well my Seesta, a lot of Dads are critical to their children because they think it is making them tough. He is trying to prepare you for the cold cruel world, Yes I know, it is hard to figure, and even harder to put up with the criticism, and lack of recognition, but some guys are just that way. You need to understand that their are reasons he is that way. Probably because his dad did the same thing to him. Then if he was in the military after leaving home, that just makes them even more critical and dominant.
But if I was guessing, he loves you very much, and he actually thinks that he is making you tough, and giving you good advice. He probably came from a non affectionate home, so he really does not know how to just love and cherish his baby girl the way you want him to. So you are going to have to just understand that he does love you, but he just does not know how to show you his love. Some Dads are harder on the smarter child, because he know they are capable of so much more.
Just some thoughts I had in reading your post, and I am sorry that he hurts your feelings. But just remember, we love you, and you are our baby girl of PWI.

 

well said. thats cool

 

Maybe that is his way, maybe it isnt. He never was in the military. Honestly what I think it is is a little greeness. I think he lives out the things he always wanted to do through me. When I was younger I never wanted to be a business person. I always wanted to do engineering but was "forced" into the business aspect because of my dad. I'd rather be designing things and making them work instead of contract negotiations and crap. But yet, he would rather me do IT work instead of Program Mangement?? WTF is up with that??

 

Chik, just do not worry about what he wants you to do! Follow your passion and ignore everybody's opinions. You are a very smart lady, and you will be more successful in the things that you are interested in. He is a know it all, and he is going to give you his opinion every time you try to discuss your path forward.
So just follow your own desires, and don't worry about his opinions. When he says those things, just let it fly through one ear and out the other. He cannot make you do anything you dont want to do!

 

Ok so the decision is made! Stay at home trophy wife.

 

Is that really what you want to do? Think about that! You stay at home all day changing diapers, cleaning house, paying the bills, then hubby comes home and he's tired from working all day. So them you get mad cause he just wants to hit the recliner ans suck beer until bed time. So you get to cook dinner, change more diapers, give the little one a bath, and get the kid to sleep.
And believe it or not, that's the way it normally goes. So I think you thrive on working, as long as it is something that you really like, and are interested in. You could build a career, and have kids once your career has been established.
But chicksta, if you want to stay at home and have babies, then that is what you should do!

 

Chick, I think your hormones are raging

 

We got your back chiksta, bust some *** and do what you want. I know that I am tough on my kids as well. But too much negative is not a positive.