Beer Troubleshooting
SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle. ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling. SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet. FAULT: Improper bladder control. ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training. SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless. FAULT: Glass empty. ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer. SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights. FAULT: You have fallen over backward. ACTION: Have yourself leashed to bar. SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts. FAULT: You have fallen forward. ACTION: See above. SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet. FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face. ACTION: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror. SYMPTOM: Floor blurred. FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass. ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer. SYMPTOM: Floor moving. FAULT: You are being carried out. ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar. SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark. FAULT: Bar has closed. ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender. SYMPTOM: Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures. FAULT: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations. ACTION: Cover mouth. SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and smiles. FAULT: You are dancing on the table. ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy-looking. SYMPTOM: Beer is crystal-clear. FAULT: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up. ACTION: Punch him. SYMPTOM: Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear. FAULT: You have been in a fight. ACTION: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them. SYMPTOM: Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in. FAULT: You've wandered into the wrong party. ACTION: See if they have free beer. SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted. FAULT: The beer is too weak. ACTION: Have more beer until your voice improves. SYMPTOM: Don't remember the words to the song. FAULT: Beer is just right. ACTION: Play air guitar. |
RE: Beer Troubleshooting
aaaaaaaahahahaha lmao [sm=partyparty.gif]
|
RE: Beer Troubleshooting
:D
|
RE: Beer Troubleshooting
lmao thats awesome ill have to keep them in mind later lol
|
RE: Beer Troubleshooting
Those are great, bluebird! lol
|
RE: Beer Troubleshooting
we shold sticky this and the "biker" thread together!! lol lol ..... That's just awesome.
|
RE: Beer Troubleshooting
Yeah been there done that a a few of those.........that and a pole :D
|
RE: Beer Troubleshooting
pole??? are there pictures???
|
RE: Beer Troubleshooting
ORIGINAL: shon Yeah been there done that a a few of those.........that and a pole :D |
RE: Beer Troubleshooting
BB -- you sound like my wife, a couple of appletini's at a duelling piano bar and suddenly she's throwing her bra onstage. lol Sure she seems all sweet and innocent, but it's those quiet ones that will get you every time. [sm=drooldude.gif]
|
All times are GMT. The time now is 01:55 PM. |
© 2024 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands