hahaha, that was a funny.I would prefer to drain the oil (reinstalling the plug of course), pull the filter and replace the new filter first before adding the expensive stuff (oil).
I also like to warm up the engine prior to draining and torque the drain plug on the install.
The drain=bolt is pretty obvious but you can find a diagram on the web to be sure. It's probably worth investing in an oil-pan or atin-foil turkey baking pan because old milk containers are too tall to fit under the oil drain. Just drain it dry and screw the plug back in tightandpour 3.2 fresh newquarts of the expensive Iranian stuff in its place(don't know it could beBrent Crude or Venezuelan stuff for all I know-they don't put a label of country oforigin on those plastic bottles)through the opening on the top(I put in 4 quartswithout over-filling it). Thenunscrew the old filter and screw a new one in after lightly lubing the threads if they need it with a little oil. Shouldn't take you too long if you'd rather invest some time instead of money and all you really need is a rag, the right-sized wrench and a pair of pliers plus the turkey-basting pan and some old empty plastic milk cartons to take the oil down to the recyclers. No mess, no fuss and really no pain either.